College Picks
I owe everybody on planet earth an apology. Somehow I didn’t publish my opening week college football picks for all the legions of degenerate gamblers out there who depend on the Stool to make them money. But don’t worry; we won't let that happen again the rest of the season. That’s my promise to you. We’ll be here for you through thick and thin as we try and kick your bookmaker’s teeth into his brain. And let me just clear something up right away. Even though we only publish the newspaper every other week, we always put our picks online at www.barstoolsports.com. Just click on our latest issue and I’ll promise the picks will be there. Okay, enough talking. Let’s get right into the picks for week 2.
Thursday Night Football
Oregon State at Boise State -8
I’m totally lost on how Boise State can be an eight point favorite in this game. If this was 5 years ago when the blue turf still took people by surprise than maybe I could understand it, but not now. The only possible explanation for this line is that the wiseguys in Vegas think the Broncos' old coach Dan Hawkins was holding them back. In case you missed it, Hawkins took the Colorado job and promptly led the Buffalos to an opening game defeat at the hands of I-AA Montana. Anyway, when is the last time Boise State beat a team from a power conference? Sure, they almost took out the Superfans last year, but close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. And Oregon State isn’t chopped liver. They returned a ton of guys from last year’s team including their entire offensive line. As long as the Beavers commit less than 5 turnovers I think they’ll win this game outright.
Mortal Lock – Oregon State
Illinois at Rutgers -11
I think hell just froze over. The State College of New Jersey is an 11pt. favorite over Illinois. And this is coming off a road victory in their opener at North Carolina. Wow, is all I can say. I don’t even have a pick for this game, but I felt like I had to mention this spread out of respect to Marco Battaglia.
The Pick – pass
Va Tech at NC -11.5
As I just mentioned North Carolina dropped their season opener at home to Rutgers. I think the Undertaker’s entrance music started playing immediately after the game in Chapel Hill. This week they get a slight step up in competition as the Hokies come to town. Virginia Tech is one of the best teams to bet on or against in the country because they are so predictable. They crush the bad teams and get crushed by the good teams. North Carolina is bad so they’ll crush them. As a side note, I thought Northeastern almost had the Hokies last week in Blacksburg.
The Pick – Va.Tech
Auburn at Miss State +20.5
The Miss State offense sparkled in their season opener against South Carolina putting up a grand total of zero points against the Gamecock defense. Hmm, I’m no math major or anything but when you get shut out in college football that means you suck. There is no way Auburn scores less than 30pts in this game so I just don’t see how Miss State covers this line. As a side note, I think this is one of those lines where if these teams played again in two months the line would be closer to 30pts.
The Pick – Auburn
Air Force at Tenn -19.5
Oh, what a difference a week can make if you’re a Tennessee Volunteer. Somehow the Vols were a 2pt dog at home vs. Cal in the season opener. My hypothesis on this spread is that Vegas wanted to trick people into thinking gambling is easy and get everybody addicted and then destroy people later in the season. While I think Cal was probably overrated coming into the season, there is no doubt that Tennessee was underrated. There was absolutely nothing flukish about their demolition job of Cal. The most impressive part of the game was their smothering defense. I just don’t see how Air Force and their trick offense is going to be able to move the ball against the Vols. Sure, they may confuse them for a drive or two, but then it is going to be all 3 and outs. Combine this with the fact that this is a night game in front of all those hillbilly drunk fans and we have all the makings of a woodshed beating. By the way if you were the Air Force coach wouldn’t you ask your AD to schedule this game during the day? I mean at least give me a fighting chance.
The Pick – Tenn
Ohio State at Texas -2.5
The logic on this one is pretty simple. I think Vince Young was the only reason Texas beat Ohio State last year. Vince Young is gone. Therefore, Ohio State wins this game.
The Pick - OSU