My Buddy From Ghana 3

Well it’s that time of year again.  No, not truck season.  It’s time for the third and probably final installment of the mildly popular “My Buddy From Ghana” trilogy.  Now this started last summer when I was “inspired” to write an entire article dedicated to buddies that everyone seems to have. “My Buddy Who Had the 3-Way” and “My Buddy Who Saw the Alien” are just 2 examples of these universal-type friends.  Again, like the first two editions (click here for part 1, click here for part 2) you may very well be on here. So be prepared and please, try not to kill me.   

Onto to the list..

“My Buddy Who’s Dating a 21 Year Old” – Now I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of My Buddy Who’s Dating a 21 Year Old.  He couldn’t get a 21 year old when he was 21, 22 or for that matter 23, but now that he’s pushing 35 it doesn’t seem to be a problem.  Sure, you can certainly chalk this one up to the younger girl/older guy theory if you want to, however I’m not buying it.  I just think every group of friends is required to have a buddy dating a 21 year old.  It’s one of those strange rules of society that we’ll never quite understand.  It's either that or MySpace.

"My Buddy Whose Fantasy Team is Freakin' Ridiculous... In His 'Other League'" - I guarantee everyone has a buddy whose fantasy football team is ridiculously, most likely illegally stacked with talent... in his 'other league'. Not in the league you're in with him - nope, his team usually just barely makes the playoffs. But in this other mystery league (usually a "work league") he somehow manages to draft Tomlinson, Manning, Larry Johnson, T.O., Tory Holt, Chad Johnson and Shaun Alexander every year. What kind of league is that, nobody has any idea. In fact I've wanted in on this league for 5 years now and haven't gotten the invite. Hmm... "Oh and I got Bears' D" is always thrown in there at the end, too.

“My Buddy Who Fell Off His Roof” – Unfortunately most of us have a buddy who fell off his roof.  Cue “loud thud”.   My Buddy Who Fell Off His Roof did that a few years ago when he was piss drunk on the roof deck of his North End apartment with a girl he just brought home from a local bar.  Of course he locked himself out so he decided to, get this, “Spiderman” his way down the fire escape completely wasted at 2 a.m.  Naturally his superpowers wore off rather quickly and the dude tumbled 5 stories, thankfully landing in a bush, but immobilizing him for the next 6 months in a full-body cast.  

“My Buddy Who Can Dunk” – I’ve hit a home run, I’ve scored a goal, I’ve even checkmated a dude, but I’ve never dunked.  And barring some kind of major rules change, never will.   However I have exactly one buddy who can and he’s known as My Buddy Who Can Dunk.  I’m like the “And 1” crowd whenever he does it, too.  “Ohhhh!!” It just never gets old.  UPDATE: Apparently people get old though because My Buddy Who Can Dunk has just informed me he no longer can. The guy claims he "lost his ups" sometime in late 2005, rendering him useless both on the court, and in this article.

“My Buddy Who Works for the State” – My favorite part about My Buddy Who Works for the State is that anytime any kind of controversy comes up in local politics, My Buddy Who Works for the State is always the go-to-guy.  It doesn't even matter what he does; he could be a snow-plow guy from Methuen and all of a sudden because he “works for the state” we just assume he has access to classified information. 

"…Suffolk Downs to get slots?" 

"Yup, My Buddy Who Works for the State says by 2009 they’ll be up and running." 

"...Senator Kennedy found dead on the toilet this morning listening to Elvis records?" 

"No, no, My Buddy Who Works for the State says that’s just an ironic Internet rumor, not to be believed." 

"Oh, okay.  Thanks for the inside info..."

“My Buddy, Whose BUDDY Hooked Up With Stephanie McMahon at BU” – Hey-O! Credit to Peter Powers for bringing this up on the blog the other day, but similar to Hazel Mae from the last “My Buddy From Ghana” article, I’m finding that no one has a direct buddy who actually hooked up with Stephanie McMahon at BU.  However, all of your buddies who graduated there while she was in school seem to have a BUDDY who did.   Maybe our direct buddies weren’t cool enough, that’s certainly possible.

“My Buddy Who Still Likes the NBA” – What is going on here with Your Buddy Who Still Likes the NBA, I don’t get it.  How could anyone still possibly enjoy watching an entire game in this league is beyond me.  Now with Garnett and Allen coming to Boston it’ll definitely be more exciting around here which is great news for Your Buddy Who Still Likes the NBA – we haven’t seen him this fired up in years!  Not to rant here, but the NBA game as a whole still has some serious problems prior to the last 2 minutes.  And everyone knows that, except Your Buddy Who Still Likes the NBA.  He’ll talk your freakin’ ear off about “The Association”; it’s almost like he’s on the take with Tim Donaghy and the Mob.

“My Buddy Who Banged His Boss”- Whoa, whoa, whoa.  I know, we’re not supposed to talk about Your Buddy Who Banged His Boss.  When he told you a few years ago in private it was like hearing who killed JFK (Tupac).  I mean this is as top-secret as it gets because of all the ramifications.  My Buddy Who Banged His Boss is probably shitting himself even reading this right now if I know him.  Regardless, any dude who had an attractive female supervisor in his first job out of college obviously wanted do to this.  Unfortunately 99% of us couldn’t.   But not My Buddy Who Banged His Boss.  Granted the workplace awkwardness must have been f*cking brutal, especially if she was married, but nonetheless it’s still a legendary story you don’t mind hearing re-told during the Holidays.