Ask The Bartender

Liquor Store
The Alley
617.357.6800

1. Is there a technique to looking sexy when you’re riding the mechanical bull at the liquor store?

Amanda - The only way to look sexy is to pull your t-back thong out the back of your pants just a little bit. Guys need to need to know what’s underneath your pants so they know what they’ll be seeing later considering he'll be the next bull you’re riding.

Suzie - There is a definite technique to ride the bull! If you want the attention the way to go is commando in a skirt!

Jaclyn- Being able to rid for a loooong time? wink wink.

Carolyn - No matter how hard you try to look sexy, just remember there is NOTHING sexy about a cow riding a bull. However, if you have to be assisted on the bull by a bouncer then DON'T knee the guy in the balls.

Sara - Make sure that you have one hand up in the air and your pants are hanging way down low so you can see your thong. Not vomiting, or not appearing to have previously gotten sick earlier that evening, also gives you points on the sexy scale. Guys want to actually visualize the girl in the "cowgirl" or "reverse cowgirl" (more favored by men) sex position. Think about the clothes, or lack there of depending on your body, you might wear if you actually were banging say, Brad Pitt. A sultry smile or look of confidence in process says "That's right, say my name b*tch".


2. What’s the deal with Bachelorette parties? Are girls in bachelorette party more likely to hook up? How many actual bachelorette’s would you say end up hooking up?

Amanda – Let’s face it not every bride has hot single bridesmaids. There’s always one bad, bitter apple there trying to spoil the fun for the bunch. Your going to need a couple of wingmen and at least one brave guy that’s willing to jump on the grenade (ugly girl) and take one for the team, cause if that girl ain’t getting laid than she’ll make sure no one is! By the way, the bride’s good for only one thing; She probably has a bunch of Trojans stuck to her shirt.

Suzie- Bachelorette parties usually consist of 10-15 girls with their only mission to get trashed. Random groups of about five guys at a time will approach them with pick up lines; let's face it, that's a 1 to 5 ratio. Unless you’re making porn it's not going to happen!

Jaclyn - Don’t fall for the bachelorette party tricks. They will make you buy them drinks and play games, but NO ONE us hooking up with you. You’re better off going after the girls that are grinding and making out with one another over at the stripper poles.

Carolyn - Bachelorette parties are designed for the bridesmaids to take out all their pent up frustration they've been having with their bridezilla. Girls in bachelorette parties are less likely to hook up because it's "all about the bride" and they probably have more of a chance hooking up with each other. A bitter bridesmaid is a cockblock and there is always one in every group. Do the bride a favor! Take her to Vegas, bring her to Sapphire's, get the girl some lap dances and tell Dante we said hi!

Sara - Bachelorette parties are full of girls trying to get the shy, meek, and way too drunk bride-to-be to talk to as many guys as possible, often by asking guys to take pictures with them, sign their t-shirts, feel them up, etc. Most guys are intimidated by the twelve girls coming up to them at the same time and try to run the other way. That and to escape the possibility that the bride-to be's obese cousin, Ursula, is the one he has to kiss. I would say chances are slim to none, unless bride's cousin is Carmen Electra and she does all the initial questioning.

3. Is there anything a guy can do to impress a girl at a bar besides physical attraction? And if so what would it be?

Amanda - Do not under any circumstances ride the bull. The bull is there for the girls ONLY. If you want your own personal bull ride take some cow home, hide some friends in your closet and yell “RODEO” while banging her. Then you’ll have a bucking Bronco in your bed. Hang on!

Suzie - Honestly guys don't be assholes if we don't give you a chance. We probably turned you down cause you gave us cheesy line! Just apologize for the pick-up line and act normal, then you might get our attention!

Jaclyn - Smell the bull after a girl gets off it!! Ha Ha. Kidding.

Carolyn - If you aren’t cute then you can dress well. Don’t over do it though! Nothing is worse then a guy who is trying too hard! Put down your popped collar, take off your wrist bands and buy a shirt that fits you!

Sara - Duh, flash a wad of $100s. I'm kidding. Tipping the bartender 100's would be much better.

4. Are there any signs that a guy should be aware of to spot a girl who is looking to have a good time?

Amanda - Sure. Head down to Chinatown where just about any girl you spot there needs fifty dollas to make you holla.

Suzie - If a girl starts getting undressed at a club when she's not on a pole or getting paid for it, then she's there for a good time!

Jaclyn - Find the girl crawling on the bar getting her ass slapped by the bartender? I’m pretty sure if you’re hot she will be willing.

Carolyn - Just head over to the stripper pole in VIP and you'll find a winner.


Sara - 1) Not wearing her glasses. Not wearing her undies either.2) Heels are higher than three inches from ground, shirt lower than five inches from shoulder 3) Not engrossed in conversation with another guy, Is engrossed in deep fellatio of her 24 oz. Corona 4) Drunk face, eyes half-closed, quasi Derek Zoolander's "Blue Steel" 5) S-H-O-T-S, if she asks for red-headed sluts, you're in.

5. What’s the best thing about the Alley?

Amanda - The fact that it’s an alley serves a purpose. It’s the only alley in Boston where you can meet up with your friends, hook up with some chick, get your ass beat and then puke all over yourself. But this isn’t a dark alley way where no one can see you. In this alley, everyone’s there and we’re all watching you. Peek-a-boo. I see you.

Suzie - Some may say how the drinking age does not apply in The Alley!

Jaclyn - The hook up potential!

Carolyn - The Fights! With all the bars in the Alley there is bound to be a huge fight that spills outside. You know you missed a good night when there’s blood on the ground.

Sara - The pizza at 2am, the get-down-dirty-south party scene at the Liquor Store, and daaaaamn, those bartenders. Woah Momma!