3rd Annual College Bowl Spectacular
Season Record 38-25
Last Week 3-1
Mortal Lock Record 7-5
“On the joyous days of Bowl Week my TV gives to me, the best college games you'll ever see. There's nothing else like Bowl week that Yuletide fantasy, tailbacks a sweeping, Quarterback a throwing, whistles a blowing, head coaches screaming, 4th Down and Loooong! 3 wise men, 2 overtimes, a fan's football feast, it's the best week on TV!”
Bowl week is my favorite gambling time of the year behind only March Madness. But that doesn’t mean that Bowl Season is all fun and games. A bad run in Bowl Season can ruin your holidays while a great run can make it the best Christmas ever. Therefore, it’s imperative that you not only read the following column, but that you obey it like it’s the law. Help us help you. We all want the same thing and that’s for Stoolies everywhere to have a great holiday and to kick their bookmaker in the teeth. The fact that we’ve hit 65% of our games vs. the spread for the 2nd straight year means we’re the guys to make it happen.
December 20th
New Orleans Bowl
Southern Miss vs. Arkansas State +17
It’s very important to get off on the right foot in Bowl season and thankfully the gambling gods gave us a lay-up to get things rolling. This has to be Dustin Almond’s last game at Southern Miss right? He can’t be coming back for his 9th season of college football can he? What better way to end his illustrious college career than to appear in his 2nd straight New Orleans Bowl vs. the Arkansas State Indians who will be making their first ever Bowl appearance. Compare them with Almond who has appeared in 9 straight Bowl games and it’s hard to see Arkansas State hanging around very long in this one. Last year Southern Miss destroyed North Texas 31-10 and that was a much better Sun Belt Conference representative than this Arkansas State squad. In fact the Indians got the automatic bid with a 6-5 which is pretty pathetic. There is no way a .500 team from the Sun Belt can hang around with a pretty good Southern Miss team. This game has blowout written all over it.
The Pick – Southern Miss Easy
December 21st
GMAC Bowl
Toledo vs. UTEP +2.5 total 62
I love the fat guy who wears the whistle for Toledo. Although I’m still a little pissed at him from last year when I took Toledo vs. Uconn only to watch the Huskies destroy the Rockets. But the Mac representative has won this bowl game the last 4 years with the last three of them being blowouts. However, despite this statistic I do think this will be a very good game. In fact I think my favorite bet in this game is the Over. Both teams have great offenses and questionable defenses. I could easily see this game going into the 40’s. Yes, that’s my pick. Take the over. If you feel the need, the need for speed, I mean the need to take a side, I’d go with Toledo. You simply can’t bet against the MAC in this game seeing how they have dominated this bowl for the past 4 years.
The pick – Over, Toldeo
December 22nd
Las Vegas Bowl
BYU vs. Cal -7
This is one of those Bowl games that just sucks. Neither team can be excited about playing in the Las Vegas Bowl right? I’m going to take BYU in this game for one reason and one reason only. The BYU players are Mormons who can’t enjoy themselves in Vegas while the Cal players are probably partying hard leading up to the game. Don’t ask me how BYU is going to stop Cal because I have no clue but I just don’t think Cal will try in this one. They may actually have guys fall asleep in the middle of the play from staying up all night partying.
The Pick – BYU
Poinsettia Bowl
Colorado State vs. Navy -3
What the fuck is the Poinsettia Bowl and why isn’t BC in it? This seems like the type of Bowl game that is right up the Superfans alley. Anyway, I never like betting against the United States of America during the Holidays. It just seems like you’re setting up yourself for failure by doing that. Plus you always know that you’re going to get an honest effort from the Midshipmen.
The Pick – Honor, Country, Code
December 23rd
Fort Worth Bowl
Kansas vs. Houston +3
Every year when I write my College Bowl Spectacular there are a few games that make me want to throw up. This is one of those games. It’s a sad state of affairs when I can’t name one freaking player on either team. I bet at least 10 games a week for the entire season and I can’t name one player on either team! Pathetic. There isn’t much to pick and choose between these teams. They are both 6-5. They both suck and 99% of America would rather watch a show on dirt than watch this football game. Having said that I will still gladly bet on it. I’m going to go with the Jayhawks in this one because played the better schedule and still have an identical record to Houston.
The Pick – Kansas
December 24th
Hawaii Bowl
Nevada vs. UCF +2
Why did they switch the name of this bowl game from the Aloha Bowl to the Hawaii Bowl? This has the footprints of the PC police all over it. I don’t know what can possibly be offensive about the term Aloha but I’m sure something is. Anyway the Aloha Bowl is always one of the most highly bet bowl games of the season. The reason is because it’s the only game played on Christmas Eve and lots of people are sitting at home with their families and nothing to do. George O’Leary has certainly redeemed himself after getting fired from ND for lying on his resume. All O’Leary has done is taken an 0-11 team from last year and led them to their first bowl game ever. UCF has impressive wins over both Memphis and UAB and played South Carolina tough in their season opener. Meanwhile Nevada has also enjoyed a turn around season culminating with a 38-35 win against Fresno State in the season finale. But I think O’Leary caps his miracle season with a win in UCF’s first ever bowl game.
The Pick - UCF
December 26th
Motor City Bowl
Memphis vs. Akron -5.5
The Akron Zips are yet another team making their first ever bowl appearance. They will be taking on the Memphis Tigers and star running back D’Angelo Williams. To be honest I’m not quite sure how or why Akron ended up in this game. The Mac generally sends the best team in the conference to the Motor City Bowl so does this mean Akron won the Mac with a 7-5 record? I’m totally confused. Regardless of what the case may be Akron isn’t good enough to stay with Memphis in this game.
The Pick – Memphis
December 27th
Champs Sports Bowl
Clemson vs. Colorado
There is no line on this game yet because both QB’s, Charlie Whitehurst and Joel Klatt, are listed as questionable. But this doesn’t stop me from having an opinion on this game. I’m taking Clemson no matter what the line is. How can you take Colorado after watching them get outscored 100-6 in their last two games and that is when they still had a coach?
The Pick – Clemson
Insight Bowl
Arizona State vs. Rutgers -11.5
This game is the sign that the apocalypse is upon us. The State College of New Jersey, the 25th best team in the country according to head coach Greg Schiano, is actually in a Bowl game. But there is a big difference between getting in a bowl game and winning a bowl game. Just ask Marco Battaglia. It will be a cold day in hell before I actually bet on Rutgers in the post season.
The Pick – Not Rutgers
December 28th
MPC Computers Bowl
BC vs. Boise State +1
This line opened at Boise State -2. I instantly declared the Superfans as my mortal lock of the Bowl Season and possibly the easiest bet of all time. I obviously wasn’t the only one who felt this way because the line has already moved 3 points. It wouldn’t surprise me if BC was a field goal favorite by the time kick off rolled around. Listen, I love the Blue Turf as much as the next guy. In fact I think I was one of the first people to start betting on Boise every single home game 5 years ago. But the bottom line is that they haven’t been nearly as good as people think the past two years. They have ZERO chance of slowing down BC. The Broncos are going to get flat out destroyed by BC. So for all you BC haters out there get ready to hear the Superfans brag about how they have won 93 straight Cheerio Bowls. Boise State is helplessly overmatched in this game and it doesn’t matter that there won’t be one BC fan in the crowd.
Mortal Lock – Superfans
Alamo Bowl
Michigan vs. Nebraska +12
Hmm, this is an interesting game. I don’t think Nebraska has a shot in hell at beating Michigan but Michigan simply doesn’t win games by lots of points. In fact they are 1-5 when they are 20 point favorites or less this year. They simply don’t blow teams out. I think Nebraska sucks but they are coming off their best win of the year destroying Colorado and their band of rapists and racists. I’m going to follow the trend hear and take Nebraska to lose a close one.
The Pick – Nebraska
December 29th
Emerald Bowl
Georgia Tech vs. Utah -8.5
I don’t know what got into the Yellow Jackets the last two games of the season but they looked like a different team. First they shocked the world beating Miami at the Orange Bowl and then they lost a death match to Georgia that could have gone either way. You’re not going to find tougher back to back games than that anywhere in the country. Meanwhile Utah has been up and down all season in the WAC which was mediocre at best this season. If Georgia Tech plays half as good as they have in their last two games they’ll win this one by 3 TD’s.
The Pick – Gtech
Holiday Bowl
Oregon vs. Oklahoma +3
Hey Oregon, how did this slap in the face feel? Talk about a lack of respect. The Ducks are still wondering why they aren’t in a BCS game and then the wise guys in Vegas only install them as a 3 pt favorite over Oklahoma. A 7-4 Oklahoma team from a weak Big 12 conference who already got mauled by a Pac 10 team (UCLA) earlier in the season. Ordinarily I’d call this a rat game but the fact of the matter is that the name Oklahoma still strikes fear in everybody while the name Oregon makes people think of Joey Harrington and the Lions. We’ll gladly take advantage of these stereotypes as this may be the 2nd easiest bet of the bowl season.
The Pick – Oregon
December 30th
Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
Minnesota vs. Virginia -3.5
I say it every year about this bowl game, but who names a hotel chain Gaylord Hotels? I don’t care whether it is your last name or not. It just doesn’t seem to make good business sense. Anyway, I like Minnesota in this game. Virginia’s defense just isn’t physical enough to handle the running game of the Golden Gophers. But this will probably be pretty close because Minnesota’s defense sucks too. In fact it may not be a bad idea to take the over which is 55.5.
The Pick – Minnesota
Sun Bowl
Northwestern vs. UCLA -3
Here is a riddle for you. If one team has no chance at stopping the other team the entire game how is it possible that they are the favorites? If you know the answer to this question please send me an email and tell me so I can figure out why UCLA is favored in this game. The Bruins are the worst 2 loss team in the country. They’re lucky they’ve only lost twice and their two losses were by a combined 9,000 points. I can understand getting crushed by USC, but how do you lose by 30 to Arizona?
The Pick – NW
Independence Bowl
SC vs. Missouri -4.5
In my mind the SEC is probably the best major conference in football this year. On the flip side the Big 12 is clearly the worst major conference in football this year, Big East not withstanding. South Carolina was 7-4 in the SEC while Missouri was 6-5 in the Big 12. Can you see where I’m going with this? This line should be double digits, but it’s not so we’ll gladly take the Game Cocks here is a strong to quite strong play.
The Pick – The Old Ball Coach
Peach Bowl
Miami vs. LSU NL
There is no line in this game because JaMarcus Russell is questionable with a shoulder injury. If he doesn’t play I’d take the Hurricanes. But for now we’ll just say to take the under whatever it is. This is a small play since there are still too many question marks right now.
The Pick – Under
December 31st
Car Care Bowl
S. Florida vs. NC State -6
I thought that Bowl games were supposed to be played in order of how good of games they were. I must be wrong about this because how could this game be played the day after LSU vs. Miami. I’m going to take NC State because I think South Florida sucks and the only reason they’re in a bowl game is because the Big East is terrible.
The Pick – NC State
Liberty Bowl
Fresno State vs. Tulsa +7
If you look up the term “let down” in the dictionary you’d probably find a picture of Pat Hill and his monster fu man chu. How else can you explain what happened to the Bulldogs after going toe to toe with USC and then losing their next two games to Nevada and LA TECH.? Fresno State will have plenty of time to stew over those two losses, but I don’t think even a full month will get them over their hangover. Tulsa is a worthy opponent for them in this game and I full expect this one to go down to the wire.
The Pick – Tulsa
Houston Bowl
TCU vs. Iowa State +4.5
I guess the question here is just how bad was the Big 12 conference this year? I’m already on the record as saying I think it was pretty freaking bad. Ordinarily I’d jump all over a Big 12 team catching 4.5 to a Conference USA team but not this year. TCU already beat Oklahoma in their first game of the season at OU. They lost their next game after that suffering a major let down vs. SMU but have run the table the rest of the way. I’ll take the Horn Frogs here.
The Pick – TCU
Cotton Bowl
Texas Tech vs. Alabama +2.5
This game gets the award for contrasting styles. You get the high flying Red Raiders vs. the defense dominated Alabama Crimson Tide. I’m beginning to sound like a broken record but I’ll take a 9-2 SEC team vs. a 9-2 Big 12 team any day of the week and twice on Sundays. After all Alabama’s only two losses were vs. LSU in OT and against Auburn in a game which they started slowly. This game is a very strong play.
The Pick - Alabama
Outback Bowl
Iowa vs. Florida -3
This is a rematch of last year’s Bowl game between these two teams which Iowa won on a last second hail mary. But that was a much better Iowa team in my opinion. And while I’m not sold on Florida the facts remain that there is no faster way to go broke than betting against teams from the state of Florida. Therefore, we’re going to have to go with the Gators here.
The Pick – Florida
Gator Bowl
Louisville vs. VTech -8
Speaking of Florida teams, I know one team that is happy that there isn’t a Florida team in this game and that’s the Virginia Tech Hokies. The Hokies have only lost twice this year and both times it was against teams from Florida in Miami and Florida State. Virginia Tech is like a bully at a private school in the suburbs who picks on all the rich preppy kids and then when they move to a public school they get their ass kicked in. But as long as they aren’t fighting those inner city kids they should be fine. In fact nobody has stayed within 20 points of the Hokies in their 10 victories. Last time I checked Louisville wasn’t located in Florida so this means it should be business as usual for Virginia Tech.
The Pick – Virginia Tech
Capital One Bowl
Wisconsin vs. Auburn -11
Auburn was playing as well as anybody in the country down the stretch. They lost their season opener to Georgia Tech which doesn’t look as bad as it did at the time and they lost a heart breaker to LSU. That’s it. The Tigers beat Georgia and Alabama in their last two games and really have gotten better every single week. Meanwhile Wisconsin is decent at best. Their defense has been exposed many times this season and they come into Bowl season losing two out of their last three games. The X factor in this game is the fact that this is Barry Alvarez’s last game as the Wisconsin coach. And Wisconsin has a disturbing trait of hanging around in Bowl games where they are getting totally outplayed. Last year is the perfect example when they got totally dominated by Georgia but somehow only lost by a field goal. This game is a total hunch but I expect this to a repeat performance by the Badgers. I don’t know how’ll they’ll do it but they’ll hang around in this one despite being totally outplayed. I’m going to take Wisconsin in a tiny play.
The Pick – Wisconsin in the gut feel pick of the bowl season
Fiesta Bowl
Ohio State vs. ND +4
I know lots of people are complaining that ND is in the BCS, but I don’t want to hear it. The BCS has nothing to do with determining the best teams in the country. It is a popularity contest and nothing else and frankly I’m looking forward to this game as much as the National Championship. The bottom line with the Irish is that they have played their best football in their biggest games. They have proven that they can play with the big boys as they beat Michigan on the road and gave USC everything they could handle. I think Ohio State is a better team than the Irish but Charlie Weiss will have snot dripping from his nose and ND firing on all cylinders for this game. I think ND has a legitimate chance to win this game so I’ll gladly take the points. As a side note I’m dying to see a picture of Brady Quinn’s sister who is currently dating AJ Hawk, the great Ohio State LB. Can somebody please send us a photo of this chick? I can’t hear enough about this sub plot.
The Pick – ND
Sugar Bowl
West Virginia at Georgia -8.5
West Virginia won the Big East which is a lot like saying you won a beauty pageant filled with deformed people. In other words it’s nothing to brag about. The thing which really raises the red flag about West Virginia is that they were beating people without even attempting to pass the football. I’ve got to believe that this strategy won’t work against the Bulldogs. Pat White, the freshman Mountaineer QB, is going to have to complete passes to win this game and I don’t think he’ll be able to do it unless you count Interceptions as completed passes. Georgia will score at least 30 in this game and I don’t think WV will be able to keep up.
The Pick – Georgia
January 3rd
Orange Bowl
Penn State vs. Florida State +8
This game presents a multitude of moral dilemmas for me. First of all I think it’s a disgrace that a team with four losses is playing on January 3rd in the Orange Bowl. Second, I really want Papa Joe to win this game because I love the guy. But the dilemma with this game is that in order to bet on PSU I’d have to break my own rule which is to never to bet against a school from Florida unless they are playing another school from Florida. And the corollary to this rule is that you NEVER EVER bet against them when they are the underdog. Combine this with the fact the Noles are coming off a dominating win against Virginia Tech, this game is being played in Florida and the Noles have a full month to get healthy and this game doesn’t bold well for Penn State. As much as I want the Nitney Lions to win I can’t help but think this should be a pick em game. Sorry Papa Joe, but I can’t ignore easy money and that is exactly what this game is. If you don’t care about your soul which I don’t, go huge on FSU.
The Pick – Noles
January 4th
Rose Bowl
USC vs. Texas +7
I refuse to call this the National Championship game because there is no doubt in my mind that neither team would have gone undefeated if they played in the SEC, Big 10 or ACC. These may be the two best teams in the country but without a playoff system we’ll never really know. What I do know is that the reason these two teams made it this far is because they both played in relatively weak conferences. Okay, now that I have that rant out of my system let’s get to breaking down the game. To me this should be a pick em. I have no idea why USC is favored by a TD. I think it’s because they beat Oklahoma by 90 last year in the National Championship. But USC isn’t as good as they were last year and Texas is better than Oklahoma was. Both teams struggled to win in their toughest games of the year but managed to pull it out in the end. To me, USC has the better offense but Texas has the better defense. The result is that I think both teams will be hard pressed to stop each other. I fully expect this to be a close and highly entertaining game. I got to take the points and the Longhorns though. If you really want to get cocky and try to make a big score then it makes sense to take Texas and the money line.
The Pick - Texas