Tales from The Big Blind: My 2nd Attempt at the World Poker Finals

One year ago last week I made my first official run at poker glory/early retirement when I entered a $150 Act II satellite tournament at Foxwoods Resort and Casino.

The goal: To qualify for the $6,000,000 World Poker Finals and be seen on the Travel Channel wearing a Barstool Sports’ Ugly Tee-Shirt.

The result: I got f’n crushed; finishing 7th out of 10 players.

But this year things would be different. Literally. The tribal elders at Foxwoods raised the buy-in from $150 to $225 and were now awarding the top TWO places, rather than one, a seat in the Act III where you had a ~ 1/7 shot at the main event.

Plus, I was a year older now. And in theory, a year wiser.

In theory.

Looking back, last year I was too nervous, and subsequently played too tight. This year my strategy was to get tanked the night before which would in turn “relax me” for the following day’s event which I would then surely win. Make sense? Of course not.

So there I was - confident, hungry, borderline delusional, and hungover as Koren Robinson on a bye week, as I took my seat at Table 6 Saturday afternoon in the ballroom-turned-poker hall downstairs at Foxwoods.

At my table, later described by my buddy Cabro as “a table of thugs”, were certainly some shady individuals. Earlier in the year I played poker at a massage parlor in California with Korean prostitutes and guys from the future; and THOUGHT I had seen it all. Not true.

Essentially in seat 4 I was surrounded by gangsters and poker sharks, all of whom were on a first name basis with one another.

Not exactly you’re neighborhood home game.

Regardless, I had a tournament to win; and I didn’t have time to worry about which one would pull out a tire-on if I raised his big blind.

For the first 20-30 minutes I was getting shit. 2-9, J-2, 10-4. Nothing playable. The “goon squad” was continually raising my blinds, but there’s no way I could call.

After picking up a $1,400 pot on a semi-bluff, I was now up to $2,900 in chips, after starting with $2,000. But the blind structure was super aggressive, and although I made 2 great lay downs, before I knew it I had dipped down to below $2K about an hour into the tournament.

The good news was there were only 5 players left and the next hand I picked up AK in the small blind. In the big blind was the chip leader in seat 8 – a more Italian-looking version of Mariner closer, Eddie Guardado.

“Guardado” had been playing aggressive with his large chip stack ($6K), so I slow-played the AK and just called the big blind, hoping he’d raise me and I could go all-in.

And he did. He flipped over pocket 5’s which actually surprised me. I was hoping he’d have worse. It was now a “coin flip”; my “big slick” vs. his pocket 5’s.

The Flop: 9-6-ACE. Booyah. But I didn’t move a muscle. I still had to dodge a 5 on the turn and the river, which I did. I counted out $1875 in chips which he paid me to double-me up. I was now in a clear 2nd place with over $3,700. If the tournament ended now, I’d qualify for the Act III.

But of course it didn’t, and the next hand I played has already gone down as the most memorable I’ve ever been involved in.

With only 4 players left (again, top 2 advance to Act III) I picked up pocket 10’s on the button and raised $1000 in chips, which was slightly more than 3 times the big blind. “Guardado”, still the chip leader, and now the small blind, called my raise as the other 2 players folded. I then decided to employ the Greg Raymer patented “stop and go” technique, where no-matter what the flop was, I was going “all-in”. With blinds at $150-$300, and ante’s at $50, the pot had over $2500, and I wanted to take it down.

The flop: Q-9-7, rainbow. “All in” I announce; confidently, and without hesitation (usually a sign of a bluff). If “Guardado” has a Queen, he has a Queen. Good for him. If he doesn’t, he can’t call me and I’m packing my bags for Act III.

Slight problem though; it wasn’t my turn.

Whoops.

The action was on him and I totally f’d up.

Embarrassed to say the least, I felt like Costanza when his boss caught him having sex with the cleaning lady.

“Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?” I asked the dealer. “Because if I had known that kind of thing was frowned upon…”

He wasn’t buying it. And immediately called for a tournament official.

I didn’t know what was going to happen. The remaining players at the table, as well as a few spectators, all claimed because I “verbally committed” my chips were in play. This was bullshit. Clearly they just wanted me eliminated. But I relaxed and let the floor decide. In the meantime I was praying “Guardado” would simply check or fold and I’d take down the pot, somehow.

In a matter of seconds a tournament official came by. The dealer explained the situation to him and sure enough, as I expected, he was only one who sided with me. While yes, I was wrong in acting out of turn, my chips were not “in play” and there was no penalty of any kind. He then pointed to “Guradado” and told him, “You. Act.”

“All in”.

Holy F! This is NOT what I expected.

Now I had a decision. Again, there’s a Queen on the board, which makes my 10’s shrink-up a bit. But not too much. He called my $1000 pre-flop raise so he could very easily have K-Q, maybe Q-J. Maybe he had 9’s or 7’s and flopped his set, but I figured that was unlikely. If he’s putting me on a hand, there’s no way he makes that play without a bigger hand. So after considering everything I could possibly take into account, I decided to fight another day, fold the hand, and take back my “verbally committed” chips and just get the heck out of one of the strangest hands I’ve ever seen, let alone been apart of.

(“Guardado” claimed HE TOO had pocket 10’s, which was a complete lie; and never showed his cards. I think he had a Queen.)

That controversial hand proved to be the beginning of the end for me. A few hands later, I called the $400 big blind on from the button with 9h-10d. “Guardado” in the small blind called, and the big blind checked.

The flop: 10c-4c-4d. “Guardado” and the big blind checked, and I bet my top-pair with a pot-sized bet. “Guardado” then raised $2000 which essentially would’ve put me all-in. The big blind folded and the action was on me.

I put (please read: “hoped”) “Guardado” had either a lower 10 or a flush draw, and figured if he had a higher 10 or a third 4, I was simply f’d.

“Ok, I’m all-in” I said. And right away “Guardado” called with A-4 of diamonds. God damn it. He had the f’n 4.

When the turn and river failed to produce a 10, I was done in 4th place. Just like that I went from 2nd to 4th, shook hands with the last remaining thug at the table and walked away. After muttering to myself for 10 minutes outside the ballroom with 15 other people, I made my way upstairs to meet my buddies.

Well the dream is over in 2005. Obviously I’m disappointed, but like any true degenerate, I will be back next year in all probability to lose again. Hopefully they’ll be no more acting out of turn and calling the floor on my account; and you never know, with any luck I’ll be representin’ The Stool in the ‘06 World Poker Finals.

Fire-up the Ugly Tee-Shirts.